CC & NJ Guy
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CC & NJ Guy
The Silent Killer: Understanding and Managing Daily Stress
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The weight of daily stress affects us all, but rarely do we take time to examine how differently it manifests in each of our lives. In this raw, honest conversation, we dive deep into the invisible force that medical experts call "the silent killer"—chronic stress—and unpack how it impacts our bodies, relationships, and overall health.
From physical symptoms like tension headaches and digestive issues to the mental toll of workplace pressures and family responsibilities, stress leaves no aspect of life untouched. We share personal experiences of how stress reveals itself in our lives—one host internalizes stress until physical symptoms appear, while others process it differently. The science is clear: chronic cortisol elevation from ongoing stress contributes to serious health conditions including heart disease, anxiety disorders, and sleep disruption.
Workplace stressors emerge as particularly challenging since they can't simply be avoided. We discuss strategies for dealing with difficult colleagues (we all know that one person who seems to create drama everywhere), demanding bosses, and the struggle to mentally disconnect after hours. The conversation takes an enlightening turn when we explore effective relief strategies—from physical outlets like martial arts and exercise to intellectual pursuits, creative expression, and even motorcycle rides that help the stress "fly off your shoulders."
Most importantly, we challenge the persistent stigma around seeking professional help for stress management. Therapy isn't a sign of weakness but a practical tool—just a structured version of what we already do when venting to friends. Whether you're carrying parenting stress, workplace anxiety, or relationship pressures, finding your personal stress relief valve isn't optional—it's essential for survival in our high-pressure world.
Ready to discover new approaches to managing the pressures in your life? Join us for this candid conversation about the universal challenge we're all navigating in our own way. Your perfect stress relief strategy might be just one episode away.
Hosted by: Cottman, Crawford & The Jersey Guy
Contact us: CCandNJGuy@gmail.com
Links & socials: https://linktr.ee/ccandnjguy
Welcome and Introduction
Speaker 1Hey everybody, what's going on? What's up? Welcome to the Common Crawford and Jersey Guy podcast. This is my homie, lewis Crawford, my other homie, tom Ramage, the Jersey Guy, jersey Guy and I'm Kenny the Cool Guy. What's going on? My fellas Cool Guy, how much? What's going on? Nothing, bro the cool guy. What's going on? My fellas Cool guy, how much. What's going on? Nothing, bro, chilling. Yeah, kind of excited for this little one. This is a doozy.
Speaker 2We're going to do another heavy hitter, a doozy. You really think so. We haven't done one of these in a while.
Speaker 1Yeah, we haven't done a heavy hitter. We haven't done a, yeah, I think. So that's the topic we're going to Because everybody has it right.
Speaker 3Yeah, we all do. We all do Exactly, we all deal with it in our own ways. We feel it in our own ways.
Understanding Personal Stress Triggers
Speaker 2Everybody's different yeah.
Speaker 1So I think it's a serious topic. We try to make it fun like we always do. Yeah, we're always trying to Try to not make life of it because it comes with shit. Let's just, I agree, talk about it yeah, you want to go first?
Speaker 3I think so. Um, no, I'll let one of you guys do you want to do first?
Speaker 1so I go first. I think you can go first, you think I can go first I appreciate that bro, all right.
Speaker 1So stress stress is one of the things that we can get have deal with from literally everything in our lives work, driving um, tv, uh, friends, co-workers, um, the people at the grocery store, like anything could be a trigger for us, for any person. You know everybody deals with their stress and what stresses them out, everybody, you know it's all different. Um, you know me on a little bit of a personal note, I deal with my stresses internally. You know I don't turn around and bark at people and lose it. You know, often, I guess, if at all, um, you know, and it affects me differently than it does other people.
Speaker 1You know what I mean, um, which is why I think it's going to be a cool conversation, a cool you know before. Us know a cool topic because of how we all deal with stresses. Yeah, you know what I mean. Agreed, you know 100%, yeah, and anything you know. And I think that one thing that I want to say for people as a whole you know all of our listeners and everybody in between don't feel bad. I guess we'll say when you're stressed out and feel like you need to talk about it, you have to talk about it. Just don't feel bad. Well, don't feel bad, you know, yeah, cause things just stress you out.
Speaker 3Right, fair enough, if that works for you, then I totally understand that.
Speaker 1I get it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, because that's when you are the one who's in charge, and you're not allowed right, I'm not allowing it to get to you, you know right, exactly, you know you have to, bro, because you know when you, when, like I said, I'm that person, though you know I am, you know I I hold it in and then I just like let it dissipate, but by that time I've got heartburn and you know I've got my headaches and you know I'm just in a bad way, way shape or form for a little while, until I take that breath or it's kind of like. You know, I've worked through it. Your stress is creating physical discomfort.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 1Exactly yes, all day. My stresses are internal Because you're internal, physical, exactly, I get it.
Speaker 3Listen, no one's to say that that's not part of it, for sure. Oh right, you know, just living in general, but then having that on top of it.
Speaker 1Right, you know yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah, we definitely all stress, we all have our own ways of dealing with it.
Speaker 1Mm-hmm, you know yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3You're just glad if everything's going good for you that it gets better as you get older. Mm-hmm, yeah, you, you ever have those freak out fucking moments where it's not often it doesn't happen a lot. Once in a while shit just goes plooey, whatever it is. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3It's not that you lost or you held up a story or anything like that.
Speaker 1No, no, no, no, no, no. Not that we're not talking about that, no, no.
Speaker 3And that would be horrible yeah.
Speaker 1No, no, yeah, no, no, no. But when you lash out at somebody or at people, right, when you lash out at them, and then you know that could be because of a stress, you know something just make you pissed off and you're just in a bad place at that moment. You know stresses, you know and the things that. So now I guess, well, so for you, because you look all this stuff up, you do all of the investigating, if you will, what is it? How is it that people deal with stresses, or I mean, you know what? Let's start from the beginning. I'm sorry. What triggers?
Physical Effects of Stress
Speaker 3Well, they say that stress is a silent killer. Really yeah.
Speaker 2Well, yeah, of course it does.
Speaker 3The silent killer or necessary metaphor? Well, yeah, of course it does, the silent killer or necessary metaphor. I mean, like when you think about it?
Speaker 2it's the what is it? The cortisol Like that builds up in your body. It's like a stressor you have no way to release it.
Speaker 3It definitely becomes a problem.
Speaker 2It's supposed to like comfort you, but also you gain like weight from it.
Speaker 1Well, now I know I'm fat.
Speaker 3Here's some science behind it. What happens in the brain and body when stress cortisol? All right, general line fight or flight response.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3You know short-term versus long-term effects, the impact of stress, physical and mental health, heart disease, anxiety, sleep problems, et cetera. So it's just not one thing, it'll pretty much affect everything right, well, damn, no, that makes sense, because there's, you know and we all have it, so we can identify.
Speaker 2you know, is that so wild? Like some people are? Just some people have such stressful lives that they're living in that fight or flight like all the fucking time there are people that have stress.
Speaker 3That create their own fucking stress. Oh, definitely you get to the point when you listen to them you're like all right, everything's a problem.
Speaker 2When you know, is that really such a big deal? Yes, you don't really complain about something that's so small, trivial.
Speaker 1Right, yeah, and that's the other thing too. That's so small, right, trivial, right, yeah, and that's the other thing too. I think what's wrong is what we find trivial, I know For others, for others it's not.
Speaker 3I get it, so you know that's a little bit rude I get that, but you know what?
Speaker 1And I do it. That's a bad habit for me. You know to turn around. It's getting pretty annoying me, you know, to turn them on like oh my god, that's what you're telling me, oh my god, that's what's bothering you like. You know, just don't pay this any attention, or whatever it's again, you know, we all deal with these stresses differently. You know what I'm saying. We can only handle it certain ways, certain things, certain ways, I should say yeah right, because this could be work related social and personal stress unexpected stressors pandemics, economic downturn, loss relationships deadline burnout.
Speaker 3Bosses Right on the number one, the number one is bosses. It's your workplace.
Speaker 2Absolutely.
Speaker 1And you have to learn how to deal with these things. The problem is that it's not as easy to deal with your work, with your work stresses, as it is with your personal life stresses. Because your personal life stresses, you could turn around and not answer the telephone. You know I'm saying stuff like that. You don't have to answer that text message, but at work you got to deal with the boss. Wait a minute, lou. You didn't do this. Well time you didn't do. What do you mean, tom? Hey tom, how long is it going to take you to to do that?
Speaker 3you're like well, we all know we have it with our jobs right with everybody right and everybody who's listening to us has the same thing, and they can identify of course. Yeah, you know, but a lot of them. There are some people who make their own stress yeah they make their own problems.
Speaker 1Yep so and you have to, and you have to be able to deal with.
Speaker 3You know, it always seems like there's always one or somebody.
Speaker 1Yes, sir, come on man.
Speaker 2Yeah, isn't it like every workplace has that person, that one person, that's always something wrong there's always, you know, or it probably could be cool if they didn't do. It's like the workplace douchebag right.
Speaker 3You know, what I mean. There's always that one guy.
Speaker 2Everything's a fucking problem.
Speaker 1Everything's fucking wrong, right, yeah, yeah. And you know there's a few of us that have that, that person, that people, that that people, those people at our work spots. You know what I mean? It's unfortunate, and then it sucks because even to the you have to know how to deal with it. Right, and that's where the problem comes. In man experience, maybe being able to deal with it, yeah, but then by that time I've got the ulcer you know, by the time I see what you're saying.
Speaker 1Yeah you know, it's like it took me years to get over what this guy is doing well, there are things you could do by you know coping strategies and solutions right. So now I'm.
Speaker 3For short-term relief, they suggest breathing, exercise, music, physical movement mindfulness.
Speaker 1I already do that, right.
Workplace Stressors and Difficult Colleagues
Speaker 3Long-term strategies exercise, sleep time management, healthy eating therapy. I think I pretty much do, I mean you know I think I'm pretty good in that Right Personal techniques work for you and your co-hosts martial arts, dog companionship, podcasting itself.
Speaker 1Hey, hey, hey, just saying you know the role of humor and handling stress.
Speaker 3I'm sorry, the role of humor and handling stress. A great moment to bring in a lighthearted conversation Right.
Speaker 1Yeah, well, so that's the thing. So that's two for us here. So I know for a fact that me, when I come here, and before we start the show, we're talking, we're shooting the shit, laughing, yeah we look forward to coming.
Speaker 1You know doing this, but that's a stress relief like I was saying so you know, to tell the quickie story when I was on my way here tonight. You know I'm on the highway, there's a convoy of trucks and everybody knows, because, as far as I'm concerned, I'm the best driver that there is. But so don't laugh at me, bro. Why are you laughing at me? But you know, so here it is, that I'm stuck in a convoy, on the left side of a convoy, and the lady in front of me is now holding up me and like seven of the cars behind us. So now, when we need to get off the exit, we can't get off the exit. There's no snowing down, there's no going faster, because the chick is in front of us. We can't squeeze in between the 18 wheelers. So me and like five other cars missed our exit, so we couldn't get off the highway to get here. Wow, that sucks. So then now I'm like trying to figure out.
Speaker 3That's stress right there, all by itself.
Speaker 2Yo, my fidget spinner, bro, bro was smoking that shit.
Speaker 1I hope you just greased that bitch. That thing's gonna be, moving.
Speaker 2Sometimes if you miss an exit you're like totally fucked like I was six out miles the other way. Think about it's happened to so many people who go to woodbury commons. Yeah, if they miss that exit, yeah, you gotta go like 10 miles and then turn around and you know how many people make that illegal. I'm like, screw this and I make the illegal. Yeah, no, authorized to be.
Speaker 1Yeah, uh-huh, yeah, no man listen we gotta be careful with that, yeah, we know that shit. But you know, and that's especially on your job. Yeah, especially on job but you know's that and that's what I'm saying. Like you know, we just kind of like made it, you know, a little lighthearted but stresses like they hurt people. You know, like we said, you get that heart attack. You know you get that high blood pressure that can't say that about everybody's stress.
Speaker 3But here's the thing you can't measure another person's stress.
Speaker 1Your stress is not better than his or yours or vice versa, the same thing or anybody. That's how I always thought about it.
Speaker 2There are people out there that seem to think that theirs is worse than yours, and they will make sure you understand that and they will tell you you that just makes no sense to me, right the crazy you know I mean that I couldn't deal with it is that, like in nature, you know what stress is supposed to be for it's supposed to be for, like, trying to get you out of like bad situations. You're stressed out, you gotta get out of them, but, like in modern society, we're in situations that cause stress that we can't get out of you know some and some are created on our own, like we mentioned before.
Speaker 2But like you, know what I mean, like you, you, you work in a job that's stressful and your body's telling you get, get out of there and you're just but you can't, because you need to do it.
Speaker 1That's what you're, yeah, like that's your money right there you gotta do it and and you can't because then even too, like you said, the work stresses. You're looking at the job you're doing, you know, and if something goes wrong, that's a stress, you know you could hurt people or whatever. You're looking at the boss that you might have or the supervisor, and that person is just, oh my God, or type of asshole.
Speaker 1You know what I'm saying it does suck man, because it makes communication like zilch nada you know, and you have no power and that just blows yeah yep, and then you always feel like you can't go to certain people because you know, and at the same time you realize that quick though right, well, you and I, yeah, but see that's the whole thing, though, too, you know we're the three of us here we're we're in an age where at like literal age and you know, you know we're in our late 40s and 50s, mid 50s, late 50s, that you know we are.
Speaker 1We come from. A place where you know you know we're in our late 40s and 50s, mid 50s, late 50s, that you know we are. We come from a place where you know snitches get stitches. You know I'm saying and and how we deal with those people and, um, you know what we're supposed to say and to do on job right, you know what I mean and we're trying to
Speaker 1make ways and try to be easy, and you know that kind of thing. And that's where the problem comes in, because then it's like, I mean, for me personally, you know, there's very few people that I can actually feel like I can speak to. So when I come here and I'm venting to you guys you know what I'm saying it's like, whew, I got that off my fucking chest, but I still got to go to work tomorrow. You know what I'm saying. It's like, geez, deal with that same dumb shit, you know, and there's no solution on you know, other than your boss retiring, you know, or your boss quitting, you know, or changing your job altogether. I love what I do. I just want my boss to retire.
Speaker 3Yeah, it would be so much better.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, for real. You know what I mean. You would hope. You would at least hope it would be.
Speaker 3You know what I mean. Not the same monotonous.
Speaker 1And, like I said, that's just. Let's not go down that road, yeah.
Coping Strategies and Relief Methods
Speaker 3Well, that's just me talking about. You know, I said the work thing. You know what I'm saying. No, but I get it. I totally get it. You know I I got into my thing where I how I handled it and how I knocked out my work orders and stuff like that. I just went and did them Right, I didn't bullshit around. You know what I mean. Like I just went and did them and I got in the groove of it, so it feels good. I have a plan, I have an action and everything like that.
Speaker 3So society, stress and society, yes, how modern life amplifies stress, right Social media. Yes, Job we just said that News Isn't that crazy too.
Speaker 2Stress can be caused by social media sometimes, yeah.
Speaker 3I would only think yeah, I can understand that In some circumstances.
Speaker 1Well, whether you're a kid, whether you're following the politics, whether you're an adult, it doesn't matter. There's always something on there that's going to trigger. It's so fancy, yeah, and that could also trigger an emotion, which would be the stress you feel me. So then now you look at the kids. Kids are looking at this and it's what they're—.
Speaker 3Oh, they grew up with it.
Speaker 1Well, no, no, I'm saying that the social media tells the kids what they're supposed to be like at yada yada age.
Speaker 3Yeah, but that—see, but what's the stress in that? But again, you've got to remember who cares about the young people?
Speaker 1No, but think about it too, because now these kids are stressed out, because they feel that it's their time to do what they're doing right now.
Speaker 3You know what I mean.
Speaker 1Right, but social media is telling these kids by the age of 17,. You should have already done this, this and this Right.
Speaker 3But if they're doing that, then they're not stupid. They should live their life the way they want and do what they're supposed to, like we did when we grew up. In our time, every time was different. My parents was different than mine you know what I mean, and vice versa, but yours was different than mine, even though we grew up kind of the same area maybe a different.
Speaker 1Yeah, but it's still what those kids again this is going back to what we said before is what triggers your stresses and where it is that you're listening to get in any kind of feedback from, of anything. So like when we were kids, you know, it was like oh my God, tom, that shirt with those shoes. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3It was like wait, you wore that suit out here you know or you know exactly, but that or you get busted on one, or you would get busted on one right and that was us that was shooting the dozens.
Speaker 1That was just, you know, laughing, joking, that was just dissing each other and it was all funny. Kids today are still doing that right, so that was the worst.
Speaker 3I hated puberty, the stress during that time.
Speaker 1Yeah, I would not want to relive that ever so now look at the kids that are following social media and that. Then they're telling you when peer pressure is supposed to be happening, what things are supposed to be that peer pressure. It's a different look altogether. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3So that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1You know, we go through stresses all our life for whatever they are for that person at that time, right when we start as kids and then we grow into, young adults and then we have our own children, and it was just like a cycle man, and then we kind of get away from those kids stresses, but now all those adolescent stresses and then now we turn into the adult stresses. That's the money, the working, the house, the food. You know all these things. The car, well, transportation, work. You know it's that kind of stress and having to deal with you know different kind of people. Absolutely, you know what I'm saying. So now, what should people do to get through these stresses? Definitely do some yoga, for sure, man Dude. I said I'm thinking about yoga.
Speaker 1I'm serious and not the goat yoga.
Speaker 3No, I'm talking about yoga. Do yoga, get a good yoga program and do it and just start off from the beginning, and then that's where you always start off.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm with you, bro. Yes, what you got.
Speaker 3I'm just looking at the. I'm just looking at the system, you know they had stuff on there Cultural differences in handling stress, stigma around seeking help for stress and the mental health. So yeah, that's the problem too.
Speaker 2And listen, I can say that I have no problem going to sit down and talk to somebody if I have something going on? No, you should.
Speaker 3Not at all, and I think if anybody is thinking they're having a problem with it, they shouldn't. Nobody needs to know about it. Don't worry about that Don't let those whatever's in your head fucking dominate whatever it is you're thinking.
Speaker 2You know what.
Speaker 3I mean You're in control.
Speaker 1Yeah, we can say, Tom, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2No, you know that stigma stuff where people are afraid to talk to someone.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's true, and that's stressful, it's so stigmatized, you know. Yeah, I don't care, I don't care.
Speaker 2I don't know why therapy is so stigmatized. You know what I mean. I think it's funny for me.
Speaker 3Where I work, I have to do inspections and one of the places I go to I won't say where it is- but one of the places I go to, I have to check certain things.
Speaker 1And.
Speaker 3I walked in and I was talking to the woman about the sheet that needs to be signed and where it needs to be hung and the whole thing, and I said it's usually over here. She goes. Do you want a therapy session? She usually over here. Blah, blah, blah, she goes. Do you want a therapy session?
Speaker 1She said to me I said no, I go on Thursday. Yeah, exactly, yeah, I'm not worried.
Speaker 3Yeah, I go on Thursday.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's it. It shouldn't be stigmatized because you know what people do it, who don't even go to therapy. They do it. You know they'll have to vent to a friend or something like that, someone they hope they can trust.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's different. You know.
Speaker 2That's why, not only that you talk to a therapist, you know they can give advice. You know what I mean. They're licensed to give advice. And I think people don't realize it's not you know they think you're going in and you're talking about this elaborate stuff and it's not all about that, right? No, but like people. What I'm saying is is like it shouldn't be stigmatized because people do it in another way Would you rather that than someone going bananas and doing something he shouldn't, or he?
Speaker 1or she shouldn't be doing. But you know what, though, too, when they seek the help that they need.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1I agree, I totally agree. Do it's totally? Yeah, absolutely, go just talk to somebody, but we have to think about where it all came from, and that's stressful.
Speaker 3Yeah, no, no, on top of yes, let's say they are already working right and have kids or something's going on.
Speaker 2Now they have all that stress on top of that stress, so it's not just one thing that's going on you have a bunch of things going on in your life that's like a good thing. It's like, oh, you know he's trying to help better himself.
Speaker 1You know what I mean well now, in today's day and age, yes, we should be looking at it like that, you know, to go out there and get that help and have that person uh, you know give you some kind of feedback back in the day. Many, many moons ago, on the 19 and somebody's yeah, you know it was all about oh my god, you're going to therapy, like you should shrink yeah you know, like are you crazy, like do we have to worry?
Speaker 3like yeah, we have to keep the kids in the house. You all know us. So I'm like, yeah, you need to work. Yeah, but again it's us You're going to go bananas.
Speaker 2Yeah right, You're slashing people. You have no idea what's going to happen.
Speaker 1You're never going to know yeah exactly right.
Speaker 3Mess with them.
Speaker 1Yes, you know, but that's the thing. That's because people with bad mental health the booby hatch. And throw you in the booby hatch. They would just throw you in there, they would just put people in there. Yeah, just because, and then, and that's why people were afraid to do it.
Speaker 3They were probably drunk. And there you go.
Speaker 2Or high they used to pick people up with the straight jacket and you'd see someone with a straight jacket.
Speaker 1That's messed up, man. That's insane right off the bat bro, embarrassment, do you want?
Speaker 3stress, knock you up with some shit to calm you down, like, oh hey, take some of this, yes, and that's to show you how far needing mental help to deal with whatever issues you may have has come.
Mental Health Stigma and Seeking Help
Speaker 1You know what I mean and, like I said, these stresses. I think that now, in you know 2025, you know march 2025, there are so many stresses that are happening right now that you know the climate that we have right now as a whole yeah, you know what I mean. And and people, people need to go and talk and vent.
Speaker 3Whether you're talking to your crew, you know to your people to your friends or whatever if it feels good to get it off your chest you know what I mean and do the things that you like, right? If it feels good to you know, go bowling and that's gonna relieve your stress. Go bowling listen, get your mind off of shit for a little while. Yeah, if it's martial arts or if it's like some kind of art class, anything baking for a ride, go for a drive somewhere. But listen, I'm gonna say this.
Speaker 1The disclaimer is you can't do like a kenny and be. You know, I'm going to go for a ride and you're doing 120 in the high.
Speaker 3No, I don't mean that.
Speaker 1I'm talking like you know put the cruise control on like 70 and then just take a ride. Peace, put the music you like to live on, do your little meditation kind of thing as you're driving. If you're going to drive, you know, sit in the room with your headphones on and just listen to some music. Go for a walk, go for a jog, go work out, go work out. Like Lou said and Tom said, do some yoga, do something that's going to help you release all those endorphins.
Speaker 2Yeah, go hiking. Yeah, go hiking, get that dopamine going Exactly, brother.
Speaker 1Get all that. Do these things.
Speaker 3Spend time with the people that you enjoy.
Speaker 1Go to the movies? Yeah, exactly you enjoy. Go to the movies yeah, exactly feel the power.
Speaker 3Yes, no whatever yeah, do what you gotta do, focus because it does help with the stress, it does for myself and some people like playing video games too.
Speaker 2Play video games, yeah play video games.
Speaker 3I have a mini tramp. That thing is great.
Speaker 2I love that, as long as you're not like it's consuming your entire life, right, no, no, no, but when you yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like I'm going to go downstairs, I'm going to go jump on the mini tramp. Right oh nice.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's sweet.
Speaker 3Yeah, you know, because you're just bouncing on that thing and it's so good for you, us for a little while so you don't have to worry about all the other crap that's going on in your life yeah, that's necessary in order for us to, but we forget that sometimes because we're so busy and yes we all get it. That's why we're talking about this right because, I know and I definitely know, you know, and, and tom, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why it's not the same, but no, right, it's, but again it's what we're all stressing yeah, what triggers you, doesn't trigger tom doesn't bother me, it's you
Speaker 3know, but I miss my motorcycle because that's a super stress right there well, no, no, but that's the thing, though, for me, for you.
Speaker 1Yeah, on the motorcycle, you know, oh, I got you. I'm like I'm, I'm at 80 miles an hour drive fast.
Speaker 3Well, yeah, but I didn't go bananas. 65 with the hazards on no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1But on the motorcycle, know, you cruise at like 80, you just ah, you know, I promise you anybody who's listening watching and they ride motorcycles. You turn on that motorcycle, you're putting on your helmet, putting on the gloves One ritual, get that little, yeah. And you're like ah, and like you don't feel, feel lighter, but you could like just about see the stress, like it, almost like it, it just right, it morphs on your shoulder, kind of shit. It's just like you start to see it. And then you get on the bike and like, boom, put it in first gear and you're like, oh, I start to pull off. It just starts to fly off your shoulder. You know, when you go down the road and you're at 45, 50 miles an hour and the stress is just gone, and it's you and whatever guide or or voice you listen to or speak to, and it's like, ah, it is so, it's well, it's like people get from the yoga.
Speaker 1You know people get from yoga. People get it from working out at the gym, like you said, said they're in the office. Listen, dude.
Speaker 3I'm going to be honest with you. I don't care, I'm 58. I'm going to be 59, right, when I'm down here and I'm just chilling, I got my music playing. Whatever it is I'm doing, I'm doing the same shit I did in my room when I was 14. Yeah, no joke, I'm listening. That's a stress relief. That's something that you do. If you still do that in your life and you have it, then you should start doing it again. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3Because it's really good to do that thing that you always enjoy doing. It's just because you were a teenager when it happened doesn't mean you still can't do it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's not serious. Yeah, like for Tom.
Speaker 2So, tom, with your ADHD, right yeah?
Speaker 1You turn around and you'll get on your phone and you just start researching something that's your stress relief.
Speaker 3That is I love doing that. I do that with ChatGPT. You see what I'm saying. I just start like talking about like random shit.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, you see.
Speaker 1I can vouch for that. Can we For sure that? Can we? Like a deep dive into shit, right, it's crazy and then you go, but that's your stress and you it's funny as it may sound, it's you're learning something, you're learning like.
Speaker 2It's like a little dopamine there you go.
Speaker 1It's weird yeah just like learning shit but it's not weird, because that's your thing, that's your hobby. Bro, what do?
Speaker 2you think mine is bro you kind of just become like a nerd. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3I'm right, I'm an enigma.
Speaker 2I wish, I wish I had that drive when I was in high school Because I would be like you know isn't it funny that you say that?
Speaker 3Because I think that all the time. I think, wow, I wish I had that. I'm like I do shit now I'm banging stuff out and I'm doing yeah, why didn't I do that in school?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3Well, you know, because you have different priorities.
Speaker 1Well, I was talking to somebody about that today. It's funny as fuck. I mean, I'm sorry to say that but it is true.
Speaker 2I know because you're from puberty.
Speaker 3Yeah, puberty was the worst. You were in junior high school, right.
Speaker 1Well, but that's the whole shit. So, if you think about it in all honesty, the things that we learned in school we weren, but we have conversations about the stuff that has. That is that we learned in school of course we did.
Speaker 3You know what I'm saying. I mean, it's not that we didn't learn anything, it's just, we probably could have learned a lot more if we were focused in on it.
Speaker 1No, I don't know, because think of all the things that we actually do speak on. That shows that we were actually listening. Yeah, yeah, you know, we were actually painting history and science and stuff like that I would never dive into stuff. You know what it was.
Speaker 2You know why? It's because we didn't have the internet.
Speaker 3Fair enough, I actually like to look at an encyclopedia. You know what the stress of that is.
Speaker 2Go to the library. Who's going to do that?
Speaker 1Yeah right, exactly, I had an encyclopedia.
Speaker 3Hey, you can look through this Did you have an encyclopedia.
Speaker 2I don't know which one it was, but it was an encyclopedia, I don't think it was. I don't remember that was the 80s, where you were already I was 66, so it was in the 70s.
Speaker 1I'm gonna check my mom If she still has those encyclopedia, but yeah, but, like I said, that's the things that you do, tom, for your stresses. You know what I'm saying. You deep dive into stuff. Even Even us sitting here right, the smile that came across your face was like your eyes just lit up. You know what I mean, because that's your thing, that is. You know what I'm saying. You know. Like you know, with you, bro, it's your working out your martial arts. Like once we get you talking about dude, you do these stretches and you're going to feel fucking phenomenal. That's your thing. You know what I'm saying. That's one of your releases. You know what I'm saying. Mine is, you know everybody, mother knows it's me driving, you know, or me just being out, you know, not so much the speed thing but just being out, like that's like that for me. That's my release.
Speaker 1You know what I'm saying and and, but being safe at the same time. Oh yeah, no, I'm safe. Listen the stories that you hear and I laugh because I tell people all the time. You know, when I talk about driving fast and doing whatever this is in my over my life, this isn't what I did just last week.
Speaker 3You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1No, I know, I know, you know because we've had that combo, but you know this is people listening like this motherfucker was really driving that fast. No, no, that was when I was like 21. You know what I mean Part of younger, and it's just we all have to find something to to work our stress out. And you know stress is serious, man. Like we said, heart conditions, sleep issues, you know focusing issues, when, when you and it can do different things to your body. You know your muscles.
Speaker 1I didn't realize how, how fucking stressed I was and I'm saying it just like that, so excuse the french until I went to the masseuse. When I went to jenny the masseuse, I didn't realize that just talking to her, the cool little music and her, you know like because I have arthritis in my neck, and her me being able to relax enough for her to just work on that dude, can I tell you it almost brought a tear to my eye. You know what I'm saying, because I mean it was like, oh my god, so relaxing, like there's nothing I had. I love jenny.
Speaker 1I think jenny's like yeah, she's great, she's done an amazing absolutely you know, but it's just that I didn't realize it until you know, a couple of days later I was like yo dude, I don't feel as stressed anymore, like you know, what this person is saying to me is like it's whatever. You know what I mean. They got in there, yeah and then got all that shit out of your muscles, right, and you know, but that was what it was doing to my body, right exactly because we we hold it in.
Speaker 3Like you were saying earlier, we tend to hold it in. We don't express it um like emotions, and I was telling you when I did the first podcast and I did my own own podcast.
Speaker 3That one time Right, yep, you know we had all these emotions. Is it better to? Because you stress over them? Right, you do. You're distressed about certain things. There's times where you don't feel like you want to do anything, or you want to cry, or whatever it is Right. Whatever it is right, you know you just when you're comfortable, when you know you can do it, and it happens to happen, you just let it happen. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, because it's just you. You're by yourself, right, and you need that.
Speaker 3You need that to happen, as weird as it might sound. You definitely need to break down and have that good cry, because without it, it's good to have it once in a blue moon. Yeah.
Speaker 1It doesn't have to be in front of anybody. Well, see, like, for me it's not the cry, it's like I have to, I have to be physical, like I have to do something. So like when I'm at work, I'm literally bro, I'm taking pallets and I'm putting them over my head and I'm tossing them like you know. Like, so you're not supposed to stack the pallets like I think it's uh, 12 high, right? Yeah, no, I'm doing, I'm tossing like 15, 20 high, because that's my stress relief, that's my like, you know, just getting that out, you know picking up heavy stuff and move them, because that's helping me get all that, that, that stress out. And it's no, sounds crazy, but that's the workout. So the funny what?
Speaker 2I would take 15 empty pallets, or like what do you mean?
Speaker 1no, like empty pallets, so I'll take an empty pallet and I have to stack them to get them out of the way. So I just pick up these big ass pictures like you know, but you know, but some of them, depending on what kind you get, they're heavy. You know I'm saying so. You're looking at 20 pound. You know the plastic ones are heavy, so, like you said.
Speaker 3So I'm just the wood ones sometimes are super heavy. They're like lead, right, so they have these other ones.
Speaker 2It depends on the wood, but the really good ones. And there you go.
Speaker 1So then for me that's my the ones that you say are blue on them. Right them for no reason, like I'm moving them to another spot in the warehouse just because you want it, because I need to like just, oh, I gotta get that out.
Speaker 3That's awesome right and but but I work a lot of times but I can't go to the gym, bro.
Speaker 1I hate going to the physical gym. Do it on your own right, no, no, I'm saying like I can go and I can release that I recognize that. Make your own doing that and that's why I do it at work. Make your own gym. That's why I do it at work, because you know I have to. Really that's like that, oh yeah, you need it.
Speaker 1Yeah, like yo use the forklift, all that stuff, all that stuff and, mind you, I don't work the warehouse and I'm moving shit out of the warehouse. The dude is like yo, what are you doing, bro? I'm like I gotta move, I gotta get this out.
Speaker 3He's like okay, all right have fun with that, just put it back exactly you know and the guy you know.
Speaker 1But that's what it is, you know, and, like I said, I think everybody needs to understand and I think us on this show and I appreciate it, you know for me that we get to speak on people's emotions and the, the, the mental illnesses or lack thereof, and just their stresses and whatnot, because, again, like we said before, the state of the union right now is just that everybody's just you know, kind of like stressed out about certain things exactly all they know, you know what I'm saying and you know, no matter what it is.
Speaker 1People are just stressed out, you know.
Speaker 3What they stretched you out before is stretching you out now, and it goes back to the matter of being able to right, to be able to cope with it Figure- out some place so you can channel it and you know it goes somewhere. You know what I mean. Yeah, that's the thing you need to do Definitely you know, it goes somewhere. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's the thing you need to do Definitely, so it doesn't interrupt in certain parts of your life, yep.
Speaker 3You know it takes time and experience. Yeah Right, definitely, brother. Yeah, definitely. When you were younger it didn't come that quick.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, you didn't go with your gut.
Speaker 2You went with your head most of the younger I was to hold it in and then let it all explode. Oh wow, you know that was my problem.
Speaker 1I would hold it in. Hold it, it's like a, it's like a pressure cooker man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know those you know like uh, at least they.
Speaker 2I mean the other way. That could have went around. It could have been like me, myself and irene just snap yeah, and have an alternate personality.
Speaker 1Wow, that would be awesome With too much cheese and chocolate.
Speaker 2And that's what we want to avoid. Vagisil aisle three Vagisil. That's the moment he flips out. I love it.
Speaker 3You can see his face boil up. It's great. Jim Carrey's the best. That's what would happen to me, except.
Speaker 2I didn't form an alternate personality. No, I would like flip the fuck out yeah, I would like see red.
Speaker 1You know that's not healthy to hold it. No, no, it's not.
Speaker 3And then, when you turn around, when you let it out and like and when he gets kicked in the face yeah, she blasts him with and he goes falling down the mountain. Oh my God, that was great. And the look on his face. You know what it happened. He falls backwards.
Parenting Stress and Family Dynamics
Speaker 1His facial expressions were unbelievable. But that's the funny, because now that you're saying so, that's exactly what stress could do to you. You could literally, like you could for real, snap out, like your brain could just shut down, and that's your nervous breakdown right there?
Speaker 3Didn't they recently? Weren't they just recently looking for a gentleman that got escaped from the Garnet Hospital?
Speaker 1Oh dude, and they caught him in Port.
Speaker 3Jervis, I believe. Oh, they did good shit. Oh, I'm not supposed to say that. I apologize.
Speaker 1But yeah, no, we're not. So did you hear about that, bro? No, yeah. So there was a dude that was in the psych ward. Right, turned around, broke out. Everybody and their mother was getting in trouble for this. Right, right, no, no, you can stay for the psych ward. No, no, go ahead, right. So then you know now here it is that he ran, he got out and they have the video of him taking off the thing. Yeah, it was so. Now you know. So whatever he was stressed about, whatever put him in that position.
Speaker 3He was like I'm not saying that.
Speaker 1Yeah, and he bugged out and he ran. That was him dealing with his stresses.
Speaker 2The rest of us that were in the free world, if you will you know, we're like now.
Speaker 3We're stressed out because we don't know what kind of you know mental illness this person has. It's going to be like Michael Myers Right.
Speaker 1So we're like yo, what the hell did you do? They said not to approach him Right. But then I didn't see the picture of this dude, I only heard about him. I saw the picture.
Speaker 3See, I didn't. I did, and it's just sad that someone's that you know that they have to Middletown or Jervis.
Speaker 2The thing I feel bad about that is people hear that and then they'll see someone with mental health issues and think they're violent. You know what I mean, and there you go.
Speaker 1Because those people are in there, because they're violent.
Speaker 3And that's very stressful too. By the way, out of experience it's very stressful too. To deal with people who have special needs Right.
Speaker 1Yes, to be able to deal with them.
Speaker 3And it's not a bad thing, like you know I don't have to know how to be right keep an eye on stuff and not just let your guard down.
Speaker 1But that's why you need to be centered, right, you know I'm saying so that this way, when you speak and you're trying to help them out and you know, help them find their way that you're not stressed out, right, you know I'm saying because you know I think everybody feeds right, because it goes right into it again.
Speaker 3It goes into anything. Yes, because you the relationship.
Speaker 1People feed off of your vibe Right.
Speaker 3You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1So if you're stressed out, or if you're stressed out, you know, I'll feel it, we feel it, we'll know. Oh no, I hate when I get episodes like this. You know I'm saying where it's like we all just got to stay. You know, try to spread the word.
Speaker 3Stay centered do you think? Do you think you handle it better now than you did? Certain points in your life like when you're young. You're for sure. You're like yeah, when I was younger, I had no clue.
Speaker 2Most of us didn't well you know, I would say I, I when I was in my young adult phase. I think I it's not that I didn't handle stress disorder, the shit just didn't get to me.
Speaker 3Like maybe.
Speaker 2I had less responsibilities maybe.
Speaker 3Possible. Maybe it was just like it was a different time.
Speaker 2Yeah, like stuff when you're at a certain age where, like Things you wouldn't have thought about that you do.
Speaker 3now I get it.
Speaker 2Well, how do you think you, especially being a parent oh, that you do. Now I get it. Well, how do you think you, especially being a parent, being a parent? Oh, dude, that's like. I mean just worrying about your own kid, yeah, stress in and of itself and then like having a kid, you know like if you have like boys, they're stressful because they're breaking stuff right yeah getting hurt and jumping around and girls. There's like drama and stuff like that.
Speaker 2So like right, just you know, I mean it's just different sides of the coin but like it's, stress all together, like definitely, definitely sure, yeah, yeah, I'm waiting you just gave me more stress.
Speaker 3Well, we've all been there, right? I mean he's still dealing with, because just another hours are older so we have that part of it. Yeah, but you still deal with in some sense of the word.
Speaker 1And now we're dealing with our kids being adults. So we're dealing that's what I mean kid adult stress, right, right, you know dealing with the kid. You know adolescent stress is, you know, like you said, it's in the stress in itself. But now you can at least speak to and say certain things, as you know, because he's still like, you know, a youngin. But then for us, with our kids being adults, it's like shit, do I, can, I, should I say that because I don't want to hear that from my parents. You know how do I say it with the, you know, with my child, like, oh, I understand that and take it with a grain of salt, if you will. Whatever you know on the, on the, on the worst case and in the worst case scenario, you know, take it with a grain of salt, but that our kids are going to listen to us. How do you say these things?
Speaker 1Yeah, they don't In the beginning.
Speaker 3In the beginning, yes. Later on, yes.
Speaker 1Yeah, it depends on the situation, really, yeah.
Speaker 3But if you're smart as a parent, you don't try to tell them to do anything. Right for it. Right, you suggest you never. You never get in the middle of it right, make whatever.
Speaker 1Yeah, you could talk about what you did when you were a kid, right, or whatever the situation might have been right.
Speaker 3I tried not to go over that line you know, yeah, he already. They already know that well he already knows that he can call me at any time, right at any moment. Doesn it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1Yeah, you know what I mean. Listen, there's so many different kinds of stresses, different reasons for stresses, things that people just stress over, that they do it, whether it's relationships, whether it's, like we said earlier, work the state of the world at the moment, you know, or work A friend For instance, work For work.
Speaker 3For instance, like, do you stress, you're out of work, you're going home, right, but you're still thinking about work, what you're going to do tomorrow, right, and you're doing that constantly. You can't get it off your head. So you're already still at work, right. You're just home now, but you're doing it. So now you gotta learn how to get away from that separate that? Yep, right, and it's hard. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. Yeah, depending on what happens at that particular moment, right right, yeah, and that's life, yeah we, just all everybody.
Speaker 1I was just gonna say now that's funny, frank Sinatra, yeah, no, everybody needs to. Just you know, like I said, there's nothing better than being able to vent. You know whether you're venting to your friends. Well, I've done it with you already yeah, no, but that's what I'm saying, like you know. That's why I said, when I come and we're doing the podcast, bro, I'm like because it's there's no stress, right?
Speaker 1you know what I'm saying, we're all in here for having a good time yeah yeah, exactly, and we enjoy what we're doing and we hope that everybody that we listen to I mean that listens to us. You know that they are, you know, stress free for this 45 minutes. You know what I'm saying? That we all get to laugh together. We all have a good time together yeah, and then watching a movie or listening to music. Right, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3So then go and find right go and find what it is for you. Listen, I've gone to the movies by myself. Yeah, and I'll tell you that's the best time. Did you ever sit in a movie theater by yourself and watch a movie?
Speaker 2yeah, I've never done that, yeah it's amazing.
Speaker 3Yeah, what movie did you go see?
Speaker 1I saw.
Speaker 3Just pick one the second Dark Knight, oh really yeah, oh, I'm gonna.
Speaker 1I went to go see Purple Rain by myself.
Speaker 3You know what would be good, especially with movie theaters nowadays with the seats going and Alien and King Kong, you got the heaters.
Finding Your Personal Stress Relief
Speaker 2You got the seat heaters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. Or even if you go to like the, I love going to the Cinemarks, got the D-Box seating.
Speaker 1that with the seats, move with the that with the seats, move with the oh yeah, right, right, right, yeah, like I said, man, this you know stress is a pain in the ass. It could be because that's where the hemorrhoids come from. You gotta be easy with that, you know. Just take care of yourself. You know, run those. Yeah, exactly, you know, just everybody, be easy, like I said. You know it's like for me. I don't know if y'all could tell like this is my, you know, vent session because of the stresses that I feel like I'm going to listen you know, I'm saying you're only human man.
Speaker 1You can only do so much in my own head I'm, I'm moving, but whatever you know, just do what you can. Yeah, you have to, man, just be easy. Yeah, you know, be safe, be good out there, you know. And uh, I said, find a way to work those stresses out without hurting yourself or others. I put that disclaimer in because, as you know, people are just running around and right, yeah, you know doing karate chops to the people who annoyed them, don't give them an idea yeah, you guys do like the Elvis.
Speaker 2Cray.
Speaker 1Yeah, exactly, yeah, I used to love that coach. Yes, that was the shit so, but with that, appreciate everybody for listening. Work on them stresses Love, peace and hair grease. Live long and prosper and go vegan. Holla, we'll see you next time.
